And I came to the realization that I am slightly warped.

Caught in the act at his local Walmart last night, Ralph Conone admitted that for months he'd been punching children in the backs of their heads with his keys in his fist, Columbus police said today.

The 68-year-old grandfather also told them why, police said: He simply got a kick out of it.

"He stated that he does this because of the excitement of being able to do it and get away with it with the parents right there," said Sgt. John Hurst of the special victims bureau. "He'll just strike them in the head and just turn around and walk away."

I lol'd so hard. Not at the hurt children, but the thought of an elderly man punching children for kicks.